Allie Brosh's updated pain scale

Hyperbole and a Half took exception to the standard hospital pain scale:


...and came up with this far-more-accurate version. See below for descriptions:


0:  Hi.  I am not experiencing any pain at all.  I don't know why I'm even here. 

1:  I am completely unsure whether I am experiencing pain or itching or maybe I just have a bad taste in my mouth.

2:  I probably just need a Band Aid.

3:  This is distressing.  I don't want this to be happening to me at all.

4:  My pain is not fucking around.

5:  Why is this happening to me??

6:  Ow.  Okay, my pain is super legit now.

7:  I see Jesus coming for me and I'm scared.    

8:  I am experiencing a disturbing amount of pain.  I might actually be dying.  Please help.

9:  I am almost definitely dying.

10:  I am actively being mauled by a bear.

11: Blood is going to explode out of my face at any moment.

Too Serious For Numbers:  You probably have ebola.  It appears that you may also be suffering from Stigmata and/or pinkeye.

(via Hyperbole and a Half)



Overstimulation complete





Armageddon Expo, 2012. Of note:
  • Lines. Lines! LINES!!!.
  • Dubstep.
  • Sneans and backpack/fannypack combos.
  • Giant swords for sale.
  • Elbow jostling.
  • Greasy game controllers.
  • Minor celebrities. 
  • Getting owned on Call of Duty. Every respawn. Within seconds. Now I remember - this is why I don't play computer games. 
  • Zombies.
  • "RIP Steve Jobs" apple-shaped plush cushion.
  • Asian girls doing the peace sign for photos. 
  • The new Wii U. Actually pretty cool.